A lot of people usually worry too much…more than what others think of them.
We want to be liked. And according to research our brain usually gets a “dopamine hit” when people seem to like you. Dopamine is a kind of neurochemical that allowed apes to feel happier within their tribes.
The problem is…once the body acquires one dopamine hit, it will digest it rapidly and request another.
Dopamine is as addictive as cocaine. The body actually thinks it has adequate dopamine and stops manufacturing it when one takes a substantial amount of cocaine. That’s why one feels horrible after stopping the intake of cocaine.
Even though the body has given you more, it can result in a long-term problem. So, try to overcome this addiction by not always wondering what people think.
This is how you can do it.
A. ) SHOW KINDNESS
If this is what can make you feel happy, do it. It can work wonders on you.
B.) EVERYONE FACES LIFE’S BATTLES
Sometimes when someone is not kind to me, I read that fear is hidden under the costume of anger.
Therefore, if I find anyone angry with me, I tend to ask, “what are they afraid of?”. Likewise, if I am angry, I usually ask myself, “what am I afraid of?.”
Meaning, I tend to view beneath my actions, whenever I question the world; reading the layers of fears of my friends, my parents, my bosses or my friends.
Although fear helped us survive in the pre-historic period, it is now extensively largely out of date. Just find comfort that there are ‘no more lions waiting to eat us’ and enjoy what life offers.
C.) BE NICE TO PEOPLE AROUND
Once upon a time, I had this boss who always bothered me; asking me to have dinner with him. But, as soon as I arrived home, I felt bad about what I was doing to myself.
After some time, I decided to quit working for him. He became afraid about it even when it wasn’t his fault. I thought to myself, why bother about his fears when I have mine to deal with. To understand how to deal with such scenarios, read the issue of mental health in startups by Valuer.
Now, I am keen to know whether the people I spend time with lift me up. I know this depending on how my body feels. I will, therefore, spend a substantial amount of time with any person I feel relaxed and calm to be around.
D.) BE ARTISTIC
In everything you do, add a bit of art. For instance, as you write, add an interesting story. If someone talks, listen keenly. If you are working at the office, take time to assist your colleagues.
How can you be artistic? The answer is straight and simple. Help another person. The better question you ought to ask yourself is, did I better the life of another individual? If I’m able to help one person, then, I would worry less about others.
E.) RISE ABOVE HATE
If you respond to hate, it will interact with you. So, “starve oxygen out of hate.”
A Muslim friend of mine once had an issue. Whenever he was attacked, he used to write and respond pointing fingers to other people.
I advised him in this way;
Islam” means peace. Right? Why don’t you remind us more of that, than of all the hate that is being thrown your way? Be a man of peace instead of a flashlight on “hate.”
But, if that is the case, should people ignore the anger and hate that exists in the world?
Believe me! People are already aware that it exists.
F.) 1% IMPROVEMENT ON MY CHECKLIST
It is common to face devastating circumstances yearly personally. Or, a couple of situations in a year. It may be about health, money or relationships.
Perhaps even when everything seems to be going on well, your wife suddenly opts to leave you, your boss suddenly yells at you for a tiny mistake, or your company just goes out of business.
Know that this world is littered with travesties, you can’t avoid.
If you want to improve even by 1% on your checklist, you can consider the following questions in various areas:
Mental health: is there any creative shown?
Spiritual health: Did I stop fearing and focus on my tinny role in this vast world?
Emotional health: Did I spend most of the time with people who love me and I love them?
Even if it seems hard, try it! Remember, the success I have today will determine the success I will have tomorrow.
So, strive always to have a successful day!
G.) PLUS, MINUS, EQUAL
Plus: is there anyone to teach me?
Minus: is there someone I can teach?
Equal: Is there somebody to challenge me?
During my tour in India, I once went to a certain two-hour yoga class unprepared.
After those two hours, I was sweating, crying in pain and feeling broken. So I decided to go outside to have a break. And, there a man with a cart of coconuts passed me. I requested to have a treat, and that’s when he took the machete he had and sliced the coconut, put straw on it and gave it to me.
I sat there while sipping the drink from the coconut. BOOM! The experience was like something electrifying had passed through me and woke me up.
We all feel broken at times, ready to give up, and unable to patch things together. Just surrender to the mysterious happenings. Try to ask more than to answer. Look for a clue in your game. And if possible, find a broken coconut for your broken heart and mind and eventually you will know the course to take.
I.) BE PLAYFUL
During my leisure time, yesterday, I decided to go and play some table tennis. For the two hours I took playing, I didn’t recall anything life.
But what if a lot of things in my life weren’t bad?
It would still be OK. I like playing ping pong as it gives me fun.
Involving in games and other competitive things are good exercises that usually makes our brain active. It is even creative and spiritual to surrender to subtleties the game offers. A breath of fun spices up life.
When you complain, you are showing how bad your inside world is. While, when you write, you tell a story of the outside world to the inside.
Writing is like a song you usually sing to yourself. It can reverse your worries. You find comfort that you have been there before.
In some occasions, this might fail to work. And you may have to worry what people think without being able to get it out of your head.
As they say; the Bonsai tree is never perfect. But, you can trim it, day by day. When the leaves eventually grow, branches will not grow towards crazy directions.
From the ugly tree, grows a beautiful tree. And the same applies to life; we are stuck in the universe, but we can make situations beautiful.
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